By JANIE HAMILTON and MARLA LOEW

Modesto Bee: December 1, 2002, 06:25:13 AM PST

The holidays are upon us, and what better time to re-establish -- or start -- the tradition of sitting down together around the dinner table and sharing a meal. Dinnertime is prime time with your child. The dinner table is a place to talk about the day's events and to share in each other's feelings.

While it may seem there isn't enough time in the day to accomplish everything, especially during the hectic holidays, it is important to set mealtime aside to reconnect your family.

For some, dining together at the table -- with no distractions like the television, stereo or computer -- is a new concept and may feel awkward at first. One mother uses a very structured approach to establishing family communication at the dinner table. Jill Kimball writes that her family developed Family Table Time using a tablecloth as a note pad. 

"On the day of the family meal, one family member is 'the leader.' He or she gets to choose the meal and run the meeting that night. After the meal, an agenda is followed to help guide communication. The agenda items consist of complementing each family member, discussing family topics, defining values and planning for the next week's activities. At the conclusion of the meeting, everyone writes messages or draws pictures on the Family Table Time tablecloth -- creating lasting memories. 

"As a result of this simple process, we have seen significant changes in our family. We are more supportive of each other. We laugh more and enjoy our time together as a family." (For the full article, go to http://www.familyresources.net/familytabletime.html.)

Some additional tips:

• Try to touch base with everyone to determine who has what going on and when to pick a family dinnertime. 
• Have each family member pick a different "menu" for a least some days of every week. 
• Enlist family members to help prepare the meal and the dinner table.
• Turn off the television, computer, stereo -- eliminate any background distractions that get in the way of talking with one another.